One of the biggest lessons I've learned as a manager is that keeping my boss informed isn't a sign that I don't have things under control. It's often the opposite.
Throughout my career, I believed that good management meant handling everything myself. If an issue came up, I would work through it, solve it, and only involve my boss if necessary. I thought leadership meant putting out every fire on my own. No news is good. News means I couldn't handle it. Over time, I've learned that there is a difference between owning a problem and carrying it alone.
A process discussion turned into a larger conversation involving multiple departments, senior leaders, and questions around ownership and accountability. In the past, I would have managed it myself and said nothing. Instead, I kept my manager informed, shared my concerns and frustrations, asked for guidance, and let him take the lead when the conversation moved into ownership territory.
What changed for me wasn't the situation — it was how I understood my role in it. Keeping my manager informed wasn't admitting I couldn't handle it. It was giving him the visibility he needed to support me, and trusting that asking for that wasn't a failure. I also knew this could escalate quickly — and that he needed context to step in effectively if it did.
Not every disagreement has a winning response. Sometimes there isn't one. Sometimes the best move is to make your case professionally, ensure the right people are informed, and let other leaders weigh in. Disengaging isn't losing — preserving relationships and organizational trust is often more valuable than winning a debate. And I'll be honest: I don't always have the right answer. Debate around process and policy is healthy. It's how better decisions get made.
I still care deeply about ownership, accountability, and finding the right process for the right situation. Those things matter. But a few years of management have taught me that being right and getting the best outcome are not always the same thing.